Living in the Gap

There’s a tension I carry in almost every interaction —
between being here
and already seeing what's next.

Between presence
and projection.
Between waiting
and moving.

It’s the dissonance of living slightly ahead of the moment. Of scanning routes others haven’t seen yet — not because I’m smarter, but because my mind moves that way by default. It pattern-matches, extrapolates, simulates. Not out of impatience — but out of reflex.

The Frustration of Drag

When you’re built to scan ahead, everyday interactions start to feel like drag.
You’re holding a pace that isn’t yours.
You’re slowing your stride so others can keep up.
You’re answering questions you’ve already resolved internally — or worse, waiting for the question to be asked at all.

And over time, that waiting builds friction:

• A creeping restlessness.
• A quiet impatience.
• A sense that you're stuck on a loop you already transcended.

You don't want to be condescending.
You don’t want to be the person who’s "too far ahead to be helpful."
But you're also tired of pretending you just got there too.

The Cost of Being the Lead Scout

If you’ve ever led from the front — in a project, a team, a vision — you know this feeling intimately.

You’re the one charting the path.
Reading terrain.
Making adjustments on the fly.

But you’re also the one constantly looking back.

Did they make that turn?
Are they with me?
Do I need to slow down again?

And when the gap gets too wide, you face a painful choice:

• Double back and walk it slower — again.
• Pause and risk losing your momentum.
• Or keep going and risk losing the pack entirely.

None of those feel good.

Especially when all you really want is a pack that can run with you.

The Dream of Pace Match

Every high-functioning person I know longs for one thing:

Pace match.

Not just people who are “smart.”
People who can move — who can process quickly, build quickly, adjust quickly.
People who don’t need the whole map explained because they’re already sketching it themselves.

Being around those people changes everything.
The friction drops.
The loop tightens.
The signal gets sharper.

You don’t have to slow down to be understood — you move at speed and stay in sync.
No drag. No lag. No backtracking.

Just clean forward motion.

That’s rare. And precious. And, if I’m honest, something I miss more often than I admit.

But Here’s the Practice

Until you find that perfect pace match —
you have to lead with empathy, not urgency.

You have to practice patience, not superiority.

You have to remember:
The ability to scan ahead doesn’t make you better.
It just gives you a different vantage point.
And vantage points are only useful if they serve others — not just yourself.

That’s the discipline:

• Not letting your forward velocity become dismissiveness.
• Not letting your frustration leak out as condescension.
• Not resenting the fact that leadership often is waiting. Again.

Holding the Tension

So I live in the gap.
Between where I am and where we are.
Between the pace I could go and the pace I need to hold.

Some days, I feel like a scout running loops.
Some days, I feel like a shepherd holding back a sprint.
Some days, I just feel tired of waiting.

But most days —
I remind myself that this tension is part of the work.

That slowing down for others is not a burden,
if it means we arrive together.

🛑 Reflection Signal

If you're someone who lives ahead of the moment —
who scans, models, imagines, plans —
ask yourself this:

Do you slow down with care?
Do you signal clearly?
Do you leave space for others to find the path with you?

Or have you quietly started walking alone?